Who am I? Why am I here?
Updated: Feb 12, 2022
These are two questions that often bring some individuals to psychotherapy. These individuals look like they have it all on the outside. They may have a high powered career, a beautiful home and a fancy car, an attractive spouse and healthy children, yet they are unhappy. There is a sense of ennui, an existential questioning about life's purpose with the full knowledge of its caducity.
As a therapist, I have heard those questions asked so many times and they are often named by the person as their goals in therapy. They want to answer those perennially asked questions for themselves. These individuals don't necessarily meet criteria for any particular "disorder." Rather, they are seekers, wanting to figure out more about that invisible and enigmatic essence: the incredibly powerful and mysterious SELF that they don't know. Have they lost it, they wonder? Or worse, is it possible that they have never met after all these years?
It may be that the person has a disheartening feeling that they are actually living the life of an impostor, and they are frustrated and confused. They have the realization -- whether it was slow and creeping, or sudden and dramatic -- that they have been living a life that was actually carved out for them by their parents or family. Or they based the creation of themselves and their lives upon what were actually unconsciously internalized cultural or societal expectations. Often, there were also conscious decisions to pursue things that now feel silly, absurd, or meaningless. And the clock kept ticking...and ticking...
Now decades are gone, and there is angst. These individuals ask, How can I know myself and live the rest of my life honestly, with full knowledge of who I am and make the most of every moment? To feel every feeling? To notice the beauty in each day? To be able to find peace and acceptance of the knowledge of my own mortality and of those whom I love?
It is never too late to answer these quintessential questions if you have the courage and drive to live an authentic life. Come, and I will do my best to help you to discover your answers.